Comics stuff

If anyone's interested in the comic book medium, I've written a short article about some of the best scenes. You can find it over at Nerdbastards.com.

There's a load of interesting articles there on a range of topics and they're always looking for guest writers. You can find them on that Twitter and all.

Footage from Linin' Track

A while back I mentioned a gig at The Rude Shipyard, a cafe-bookshop-artspace in Sheffield. The Payroll Union went down well and, while the footage is very dark, the sound quality on these clips is excellent. What a great venue - it was like playing someone's living room, surrounded by close friends.

Ghosts is a song inspired by Sergio Leone's Once Upon a Time in the West. The harmonica motif should ring bells for those familiar with the film. There's a Light is Pete's loveletter to abolition.

Dublin real ale, Tantalus Belgian Dubbel and Hellboy's right hand of doom

It's been a while. I was in Dublin for some of the time, where real ale is over-shadowed by the black beverage Behemoth that is Guinness. We did find a couple of ale houses though. Messrs Maguire, on the Liffy and near O'Connell Street, is well worth investigating. They have four or five of their own on tap. Handpulls are seemingly not employed in Dublin - I guess they simply get through so much of the stuff that they don't have time to handpull ale. The Porterhouse, slap-bang in the middle of the Temple Bar area is, in the words of an associate of mine, 'four floors of real ale ace'. I found their Oyster Stout to be a minor marvel, and they also had a nice golden ale on.

On to Tantalus, by the Brew Company: awesome. It reminds me of a German dark beer: sweet and malty yet powerfully hopped, dark and smooth... and basically just bloody nice to drink. Very different to anything else currently being brewed in South Yorkshire, and good to know that craft brewing in the UK means more than just bitters and pale ales. The Brew Company also had an award at the recent Steel City Beer Fest (organised by CAMRA of course), I believe for their St Petrus Stout, which is indeed an excellent stout. There's some great porters appearing at the minute too. The Acorn Brewery porter is very nice, and I recently had a honey porter (Black Bee) from Manchester which was sublime.

Cat-loving reluctant demon Hellboy turned up in the pub last night. He kept popping into the beer garden, I assume to smoke one of his big stogies, but possibly to beat up some Cthulu-type. He kindly allowed me to pap him. Oh, and his right hand of doom is made from latex - he'd tested its water-proof qualities by filling it with beer and drinking from it.

A brief 'how do' and three fine ales to try

How do sirs and madams. I must apologise for abandoning my post, but I've been moonlighting at the Agoraphobic Reviewer. I've also been busy noodling away with The Payroll Union. Here's some blurb about that:

More gig dates can be found on the Facebook group page. We're expanding and trying new things and generally getting on with it, so please do come and see us if you get the chance. Or just join the group and heckle us from the safety of your own living room.

Anyhoo, the meat and potatoes of this entry is a quick mention of three beers I had at the Sheaf View, which I now (rightly) perceive as Sheffield's best pub. They were:

• Millers Gold, by Healey - a light, foamy, hoppy pale ale which is easily supped. Think it's only 4% or so, but it's a lovely summer ale. Can't find much on the brewery, but it seems to be based at the Red Lion in Ossett.
• Penumbra, by Lunar Brewing Co (American, but based in a place called Villa Park!) - a rich, dark porter with heavy tobacco-flavours in the malt. Mmm, very smooth. This is a damn good porter. I'd like a taste-off with the Penumbra and The Brew Company's Eclipse. It'd be close.
• Milestone Raspberry Wheat Beer, by Milestone Brewery - pretty strong but not too much fruit on this one. Having recently been to Germany I was expecting something syrupy, but the Milestone is a not too in-your-face pale ale. It's actually more hoppy than anything. I had it at the end of the night, for comedy value, but it surprised me. It's quite subtle.

I heartily recommend all three, and in that order. I'll be back here in a couple of weeks to document a new pale ale I'm planning, which includes fresh hops, courtesy of Mr Pete Roberts of The Brew Company. I'm pretty excited about using proper hops - they're Hallertauser hops, and they smell intoxicating.

And I'll post up some photographs of The Payroll Union in action, too. Happy trails, good folk.

Enough shenanigans!

After the recent flurry of poetry, politics and general silliness here - and a bit of guest silliness over at the Agoraphobic Reviewer - I've resolved to write about beer once more.

Although I've still got about three gallons of Road Warrior left, I'm keen to start a new batch. Pete Roberts of The Brew Company has very kindly promised me a load of hops for my homebrew. I'm very excited about this - it means I'm a step closer to learning the mystical art of brewing proper ale. I really need to get my head round all-grain mash brewing, and hopefully this is a step towards that. And I'm trying to round up a few folks for a tour of Pete's brewery. Not only would it be a great learning experience, but tours at the Brew Company include four hours of a free bar. Logic dictates that this needs to be done. Soon.

I'm also going to Berlin in a week's time, where I'm hopefully going on a tour of a brewery, among other things. Looking forward to the wheat beers, the bratwursts, the museum, the sights and the gigs. But mostly the beer.

The hops Pete's giving me are Brewers Gold Hallertauer, which I believe are lager hops. Pete tells me they'll do very well in a pale or golden ale, which is just the kind of beer I've got my nose in these days. Pete's hosting a tasting of American ales at the Devonshire Cat this Tuesday, by the way. I'm looking forward to trying them, especially if there's an Anchor about.

A little ditty what I wrote

Here's a poem I wrote after reading one of the Agoraphobic Reviewer's well-informed reviews. It's called 'My Little Scooter', and it subsequently inspired me to storyboard a musical about Jamie Oliver.

My Little Scooter by Banjo Fett (aged 34 and a half)

I love my little scooter,
It’s more fun than an Amstrad computer,
And faster than a pea,
Fired from a pea-shooter,
By an elephant with the flu.

It’s the vehicle of choice for fashion-conscious looters,
Although the Sinclair C5 is cuter,
But in my dreams I ride a hoverboard,
And travel Back to the Future,
Two.
___________________

Although it was inspired by a review of Quadrophenia 2: Mods on Patrol or something, this poem is actually the basis of a musical version of The Naked Chef, about the culinary life of fat-tongued mockney olive oil guzzler Jamie Holiver. The musical is called Pukka! and I’m just writing the title track. Can’t think of anything that rhymes with ‘pukka’ though...

It opens with a sad little Jamie (aged 10) centre stage, a single spotlight illuminating his puffy, freckled face and ginger curls. He looks down at the jam sandwich his mum made for his tea and sings something sad and aspirational.

There’s also a brilliant ensemble piece, featuring Hugh Ponce-Sconsingtonsworth wrestling a pig while Gordon Ramsden swears at posh people, all the while Jamie, in his wellies, juggles organic rhubarb while being pushed about in a wheelbarrow by Ainsley Herriott. I think this is probably the finale, as it's quite symbolic of Jamie's rise to food-porn stardom.

It's also a comment on racism, somehow, what with poor Ainsley being reduced to pushing a mockney around in a barrow, despite being the best chef by a country mile. Obviously that bit needs some development, but maybe I could ram the point home by dressing Anthony Wozza-Thomsonson up in some KKK gear and have him whip Ainsley to make him push the barrow faster. Actually maybe that isn't a comment on racism at all, maybe it just is racism. Crap, this theatre lark's more complex than I thought.

Suggestions welcome.

UPDATE: Scumbag picked

This morning I strolled into the distinctly un-signposted polling station and asked for some info on the candidates. There was none and I was politely informed I was there to vote for 'a party not a candidate'. So I asked for info on the parties. They didn't have any.

Not that I really care, but it would be nice to see some enthusiasm from the parties involved. There's been no leafletting, no doorstepping, no last minute vote-scabbers at the polling station... it's almost as if no-one cares. Me included. So I voted Liberal. I feel slightly dirty for it, but I couldn't bring myself to vote Labour - and Green need one vote in ten to get an MEP to Europe. I just didn't fancy those odds. So now I'm a Liberal. And here's what Jello Biafra and Mojo Nixon have to say about that.